The Special Bond of Sisters

"You can kid the world. But not your sister." (Charlotte Gray)

Did you ever read a quote that carried any more truth? Sisters know us and we know them in a way no one else can. 

Tonight, I went back in my blog archives looking for something about my book, Angel Sister. I found plenty of posts. I mention it again in this post because if you have an e-reader and would like to read my first Rosey Corner book, it is on e-book sale for $1.99 one more day, tomorrow April 30th. Then the price will go back up. Angel Sister is a special book for me since my mother's memories play such a big part in the the background of that story. Also, since I had sisters and no brothers and my mother had sisters and no brothers, I focused on sisters in Angel Sister. I wanted to highlight that special bond sisters have for one another.

And in this post with segments pulled from a 2011 post, I'm sharing about sisters again. Now I have grandchildren who have that sister bond. Three sisters in each set of grandchildren. 

"A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost." (Marion C. Garretty) 

When you're kids living in the same house, you're sometimes ready to choke one another, but the sister bond changes as the years go by. The older sister who tormented you with her superior everything is now the sister you can count on to tell you the truth and point you in the right direction when a decision needs to be made. The younger sister who spilled your favorite bottle of perfume and was such a pest is now the sister who will hold your hand through the worst doctor's visits or will walk with you through the hard times of caretaking your parents. And the middle sister - she's the glue who holds the sisters together. She's the one with the ready ear and the shoulder to cry on when things aren't going well. In Angel Sister, I have Kate, the middle sister be the responsible one - the one who wants to make sure things turn out right for her family.

Our sisters do know us. They shared the same experiences growing up. They know about that first cake you made that even the dogs wouldn't eat. They know about the snake that showed up in the inner tube with you when you were swimming in the pond. They remember how much you loved your first dog. They know about the time you got lost in the snowstorm in the city and are still thankful that turned out okay. They were there at the beginning when you first took up a pen to write a story. They laughed at you and drove you crazy. They knew exactly who you were and they kept loving you even when they didn't like you so much. 

"You keep your past by having sisters. As you get older, they're the only ones who don't get bored if you talk about your memories." (Deborah Moggach)

Thank goodness, my mother and her sisters never got tired of talking about their "good old days." And that I never got tired of listening to them. Without those oft repeated stories, I might never have written Angel Sister. My sisters and I don't do the "remember when" as much as Mom and her sisters did. But maybe we should - where our kids can hear. Our pasts are a gift of experiences and love that we should pass along to the younger generation whether they think it's boring or not. And then eventually they will do the same. That's what families do.

Do you like to "remember when" with your sisters? Or your brothers? 

What's a sister mean to you?

A Flower a Day Keeps the Winter Wearies Away

A New Flower to Name

Are you ready for another flower? I've been searching through my flower book hoping I can find the right name for this one. I may have to make up a name myself, but I think I have it narrowed down. When identifying flowers, sometimes the pictures in the flower books vary a little from my pictures, but what doesn't vary as much are the leaves. 

More than you might want to know about Jack in the Pulpit

But back to last post's flower. Many of you were right on with the name of it. Jack in the Pulpit or Indian Turnip. Ever since I was a kid, I've admired these interesting flowers. I think the name caught my fancy too, although a couple of you came up with an interesting name of your own, calling it a cobra. I'm sort of glad whoever first named the flower had maybe just come from church (one that didn't handle snakes!) and gave it a friendlier name. However, the cobra name fits when you look at the flower. Most of the ones in my area have the purple flowers but we have some of these green ones too. 

So far, I have never found the red berries in the fall, but I'm still hoping that I will someday. The flowers are a little hard to spot in the spring as they blend in with the surrounding colors, but I've learned to look for the leaf first. For some reason, I can see it before the flower. And now after reading about the flower I'll know if I'm looking at a Jack in the Pulpit or a Jill in the Pulpit by how many leaves it has. One leaf usually means a male flower, thus Jack. Of course, when these flowers were named back however many, many years ago, nobody probably thought about Jills in a pulpit. Unless you were a Shaker and then you didn't think about a pulpit because that wasn't part of a Shaker meetinghouse. It would have gotten in the way of the worship dances. If you want to know more about the Jack in the Pulpit and how it grows, here's a neat blog post from Hilton Pond Center.


Angel Sister E-Book on Sale in April


For those of you who might have an e-book reader or who have downloaded the Kindle app on your iPad or computer and haven't totally filled it up with books to read, my first Rosey Corner book, Angel Sister, is on sale for $1.99 or less this month. This book is one that's close to my heart since it has so many of my mom's memories threaded throughout the setting of the story. Plus, this cover makes me smile every time I see it. Love Lorena on the front and her face as she looks up at Kate, her "angel sister." I also smile every time I get a message from a reader telling me they've taken a trip to Rosey Corner and enjoyed the visit. So now, if you haven't taken that trip, you can "get a ticket" for a couple of bucks. Here are some links.
Amazon
Christianbook.com
Barnes & Noble
Kobo 

Looking Forward to Your Flower Names

Remember, each time you name a new flower (or leave any kind of comment), you get a new entry in the drawing for a couple of books. If this is your first time to enter, be sure to leave a way to contact you in case you're one of the three lucky winners. The contest is open to those over 18. Print books for USA or Canadian winners, but if you're an international winner, you win an e-book version. Deadline is April 18, 2015 at midnight EST.

A Special E-Book Deal for Christmas

Merry Christmas, everybody!! This is one of the cute Christmas cards I got this year and so I'm sharing it with all of you.

Christmas - that magic blanket that wraps itself about us, that something so intangible that it is like a fragrance. It may weave a spell of nostalgia. Christmas may be a day of feasting, or of prayer, but always it will be a day of remembrance - a day in which we think of everything [and everyone] we have ever loved.     ...Augusta E. Rundel

If you are reading this on Christmas day, I want to tell you about an e-book deal on Angel Sister. It's 99 cents or less today and tomorrow, December 25th and 26th at your favorite e-book sites. As many of you already know, Angel Sister is a story dear to my heart because of the way my mother's memories are threaded throughout the story. Today with the way I'm missing Mom on this first Christmas without her, I'm glad to be able to share the story she inspired in my heart. It is available at most e-book sites, but always check before you download to be sure you're getting the sale price. Here are some links to try if you're interested.
Amazon
Christianbook
B & N

Wishing you joys and happiness and many blessings this Christmas Day.

The Saga of the Breast MRI

After I wrote a few weeks ago about being diagnosed with breast cancer, I've heard from many of you who have fought the same fight. We do have the one in eight statistic staring us in the face. Many of you have shared with me about your diagnoses and how now you are cancer free. You've also given me advice and counsel about the tests and surgery and treatments. 
  
There are always more tests to undergo after that first test shows up something that shouldn't be there. In my case, a mammogram initially indicated a problem and led to more testing. First an ultrasound. Not so bad. Not as good as when a new mama is seeing that sweet baby she's carrying and gets to find out if it's a girl or boy. This one just showed up something I didn't want to show up. A tumor that next brought out a very long needle to dig a little of it out for testing. Then when the tests come back positive - that's not such a good word when you're talking cancer - then more tests are ordered. 

One of them involved an MRI machine like this one. I didn't really have any problem doing the MRI test. It was noisy. My neck got stiff from having to lie still on my stomach for 25 minutes, but I can't begin to have a story to compare with the one Sandi shared with me about her MRI experience. I think she's ready for her own comedy show. She has kindly allowed me to share her story with you so that maybe you can get some giggles too the way I did. I'm sure some of you who have had questionable mammograms or have been diagnosed with breast cancer will be able to identify. For those of you yet to do an MRI, don't worry if the doctor says you need one. Sandi's experience is not the usual one. Mine, the noisy but uneventful one is more the norm. But here's Sandi's story.

I've had three types of biopsies and yesterday, a breast MRI. All I can say is “ouch.” Getting an IV started for the dye part of it was bad enough–I asked them to call 911 because I feared they were trying to kill me. However, the task was finally done...after seven pokes... and then I was led innocently into a room like a lamb led to slaughter–I mean to the MRI machine “place.”

There was that thing again that looked like what I’d seen when they changed the oil in my car. Twas a bed with holes in it for my “ladies” to hang through–the difference was that no one was going to be under it gathering pieces of me. That should have made me feel better...it didn’t. The table/bed/contraption was rather high in the air and I think I climbed up two ladders to get onto it...see I’ve begun blocking it already...perhaps it was a step stool. I have bad knees in the sense that one has been replaced and the other one needs to be, so kneeling is next to impossible. I also have a plate in my neck with screws and I was hoping to keep them in the same place as when I entered. 

She told me to lie on my stomach–something I haven’t done since I’ve gained...oh maybe 30 pounds...and trying to decide where to tuck the fat so it didn’t interfere with anything was not only arduous, it was painful. Fortunately, many years ago I learned some hypnosis and decided to use it to transport myself to a much happier and safer elevation or something. However, I had to stay unhypnotized until I got onto the thing..at the least.

Finally, the tech said we were ready to start and she left the room...or not...who can see when their face is buried in a frame that doesn’t allow for vision...and certainly not comfort. The machine began...thumping...wheezing...coughing–sounding like an asthmatic mule that was stuck in a metal tunnel and needed put out of its misery. Wow–I don’t think general anesthesia could have blocked out all of that noise. I would mentally put myself in my safe place and wham...the noise would start again. The tech kept telling me I was doing very well and I kept telling myself that this was NOT something I wanted to have to repeat. So I even tried not to breathe. (They tell you to lie very still.)

So, after about three days of this–well, maybe 25 minutes according to “her,” which was more like four hours to me, she injected the dye and we were “off” again. Finally finished. I crawled, literally, off the table and kind of fell onto the tech who had no idea how close she had come to being crushed. My hand began itching something fierce. About five minutes later, everything was itching. I said, “I think there’s something wrong” as a hive appeared on my lip and my body began shaking and my head began thumping and and... .

The tech called the nurse who immediately gave me Benedryl and ordered up several gallons of water...for me to drink. (A slight exaggeration). More hives and chest pain–so the nurse called a doctor (and maybe a lawyer and an Indian chief). Benedryl does strange things to me. The threat of sending me to the emergency room led me to stop complaining. However, it was several hours later until I was allowed to leave.

The upside...and I really truly looked for one...was that my breasts are fine. Silly little buggers...why don’t they have an indicator light? Cars do.

Thanks for helping me to see that I had a very easy time with that MRI procedure, Sandi. And it would be nice if we had a few indicator lights. But then if I had them now, they might be glowing after my radiation treatments. Ten down. Six to go. 

Thanks for reading. And if you haven't read my 1st Rosey Corner book, Angel Sister, you can download it right now onto your e-readers or your computer or phone for less than two bucks. That price won't last long. Only a couple of days so hope you'll grab it and go back to 1936 and read about the Merritt sisters when they were only girls. And if you've already read it and enjoyed the story, it would be great if you told your e-reading friends about the deal. Thanks.

Tell Me a Story

When I have a book celebration giveaway the way I am now for my July release Love Comes Home (it will be sneaking in stores very soon), I sometimes ask readers and friends to share a story with me when they send in their entries. It's not necessary to enter, but it's fun. This time I asked for Homecoming or family stories since Love Comes Home starts with WW II ending and the boys coming home.  

The story I'm sharing forward with you today is one from Brenda that points out something we all should keep in mind. We need to take time to share our stories with our families and listen to the stories our older family members have to tell. I so miss Mom being able to tell me the stories of back when she was a kid or when she first got married, but I am blessed that I did get her to tell me many of those stories before she lost those long ago memories. 

The old memories were the last to go, so we had a few years where I would get her to talk about them while we were waiting at doctors' offices or other quiet moments together. What a treasure those memories were to her and me too. Without them, I might never have written Angel Sister and the Rosey Corner stories that follow it up, Small Town Girl and now Love Comes Home. 

These days, we all seem to be so busy with all the electronic gadgets that can entertain us. But sometimes those electronic gadgets lose power and we have to come up with the old ways to entertain ourselves. That's what Brenda and her family did during one of those times. Her story below shows how sharing those family stories can make for new treasured memories. Here's her story.

One of the great memories I have is when a few years ago we had a huge snow storm and the electricity was out for 6 days. There was 6 of us in the house (husband, me, son, daughter, and three grandsons) as my daughter had MS and was bed bound. It was so cold, and we couldn't go anywhere to wait it out since my daughter couldn't be moved very easily. So we bundled up and sat around the living room and told true stories of days from the past....when the boys were little....when their mother was young....how my husband and I met and got married. The boys loved it, and still talk about it.  We lost my daughter 3 years ago, as she returned to the Lord, and are still raising our grandsons who are all teenagers now. That is one snow storm we will never forget. 

Thank you, Brenda, for sharing your story with us. Maybe we all need a snowstorm to make us lose that electric power now and again so that we can celebrate those special things that connect us and make us family.

Do you like hearing your family stories? 

Remember, you can still enter my giveaway if you haven't already thrown your name in the hat. Details on my website events page. Plus, remember I have the blog only giveaway too where I'm picking five winners to get your choice of one of my books. All you have to do to enter is leave a comment on one of my blog posts here in June (with a way to contact you). Each comment on a new post here before the end of June gets your name in the hat again. That gives you more chance to win. If you're in the USA or Canada, you can win a paper copy. If you live overseas, then you can win an e-book. Must be 18 to enter.

I'm the real winner when I get your comments. Love hearing what you have to say.

Countdown to Rosey Corner #3

Are you ready to go back to Rosey Corner and see what's going on with the Merritt sisters? I hope so because my new Rosey Corner book, Love Comes Home, will be releasing soon. (Available for pre-sale now on Amazon and other sites.) 

In fact, reviews are already popping up. The first one right off the bat was a nice one that had my editors sending me congrats. I told my family maybe I just wouldn't read any more. You know, sort of like stopping playing ball after you hit a homerun. A starred review in Publishers' Weekly is sort of like a writer's home run. Here is an excerpt: 

In a return to Rosey Corner, Ky., Gabhart revisits the inspiring beloved characters introduced in her historical Angel Sister and continued in Small Town Girl. ....This beautifully written story has a timely resonance, uplifting and filled with hope even as it addresses painful topics. Masterful storytelling blends with a written love story about sisters everywhere, resulting in a novel tailor made for book clubs that can be treasured and shared with all who appreciate the beauty of love and family and the value of struggle. 

Now that's nice. Like getting a hug from a reviewer. Then to top that off, the next day a review came in from RT Magazine. And of course, I did read it. Another hug.

“Gabhart gives readers a fantastic gift of another visit to Rosey Corner and the Merritt sisters, who are more like a real family than a family in a book. The author captures readers' attention and absorbs them into the concerns of a town that is seeing the return of its sons after WW II. You'll want to share the Rosey Corner series with friends and family, and this installment will leave your mouth watering for homemade brown sugar pie - and the recipe is included.”

And I do include the recipe for Jay's favorite pie at the end. That brown sugar pie made its first appearance in Angel Sister. 

Of course, the very best reviews are the ones I get from you, my reading friends. I always enjoy hearing what you think. 

I got my first copy of Love Comes Home Friday. The official release date is July 1. So that gives me a month to celebrate in lots of different ways. First off, just in case you haven't already visited Rosey Corner and you have an e-reader, the publisher is reducing the price to $1.99 or lower for the e-book versions of Angel Sister and Small Town Girl. The price won't last long, but if you want to check them out, here are some links:

Angel Sister - Christianbook.com

Small Town Girl - Christianbook.com

Angel Sister - Amazon

Small Town Girl - Amazon

Angel Sister - B&N Nook

Small Town Girl - B&N

For those you who want that paper book, Christianbook.com, has the paper copy of Small Town Girl for a super low price right now. Plus, you can still get that e-book version of Scent of Lilacs free at all the above internet sites too. Here's Amazon's link. 306 reader reviews and counting. Most of them reader hugs. :)

If you get my newsletter, keep an eye out for it. I'll have details of my Love Comes Home Giveaway Celebration. Still pondering about what kind of stories I might ask you to share with me. If you don't get the newsletter, you can sign up for it here. Or come on back here Wednesday for all the details and a special blog giveaway too. I'll do my best to think of something fun. 

Thanks for reading. 

Note: If you are leaving a comment to be entered in my giveaway, please leave a way to contact you. You can leave your e-mail as (name)at(emailserver)dot(etc) if you are concerned about leaving the e-mail address as it is normally written for mail. Without a way to contact you, I won't be able to reach you should you be the lucky winner. Thanks. 

Meeting a Character in Person

Readers make Blogging Fun

One of the best things about blogging is getting to know you readers through your comments. You are such an encouraging community for me. Writers spend a lot of time in "solitary confinement" while digging stories out of their heads. Of course, we're not totally alone. We have all those characters yanking on our imaginations trying to get our attention. 


Conflict Makes a Story

Sunday I wrote about how life can be messy even for fictional characters. I guess in stories, life has to be a little messy because if there's no problem, there's no story. Got to have conflict. Got to have something your characters are trying to defeat or achieve or perhaps simply survive. Once a writer decides what that conflict is going to be, then to make a story really good, the writer needs to keep making it harder and harder for the character to reach whatever goal is out there for him or her. You've got to throw some boulders in his way. That's true even if the story isn't suspense or mystery. In romance, the characters have to overcome whatever obstacles stand in the way of love. In my work in progress, I'm a little worried I have set up some obstacles too big for love to come calling. That's the trouble with writing books set in my Shaker village. The Shakers took many pains to eliminate romance from their society. 

An Encouraging Comment

But back to your encouraging comments. I got one of those Sunday from Lisa. I shared it on my Facebook page on Mailbag Tuesday, but one thing she said set off an idea for tonight's post. Here's her sentence. "We even said if we met one of your characters on the street, we think we would recognize them!"

That's a really nice compliment. It sounds fun to think about meeting my characters. I know I'd be ready to listen to some Jupiter stories from Wes the way Jocie does in the Heart of Hollyhill books. And it wouldn't be so bad to sit in Mount Pleasant Church and hear her dad preach a sermon or two or be there for a Christmas program with Miss Sally directing. Of course, I do sit in a little church on Sundays that is a whole lot like the Mount Pleasant Church. 

Meeting a Character in Real Life

But once, I did meet one of my characters - not on the street but in a restaurant - and I knew her at once. We were in one of those buffet restaurants (my husband's favorite eating places) and in walked Fern. If you've read my Rosey Corner books (Angel Sister and Small Town Girl) you know Fern. She's also hanging around for a big role in my third Rosey Corner book coming in July, Love Comes Home. But in case you haven't read one of the Rosey Corner books, here's the first time we actually see Fern in Angel Sister.

The skin on Fern's face was weathered and mottled with broken red veins on her high cheekbones, and her steel gray hair looked for all the world as if it was trying to escape from her scalp. The blue of her eyes had faded like old work jeans and had an unfocused, almost feral look. She wore a pair of overalls with big holes in the knees she'd probably stolen off somebody's clothesline years ago. Under the overalls was a dirty white slip. She didn't carry any extra weight, but she'd long ago lost her delicate look. She spent her days cutting cedars now to make her cedar houses instead of sipping tea and doing needlework. 

And so, I was in that restaurant eating lunch a couple of years ago when in walks Fern. She had on overalls over a flannel shirt instead of a slip. Her hair was that steel gray and she didn't look as if she cared whether it was combed or not. She was a little heavier than my fictional Fern and she didn't have the little axe Fern carried around with her. At least I don't think she did! 

The book had already been out a couple of years when I spotted this real life Fern, but it was an interesting experience to see somebody I'd created in my imagination have such a near double in real life. That was before I had a phone that took pictures so I couldn't even sneak a picture of her. I might have been afraid to anyway. My Fern in Rosey Corner is nobody to mess with. And that real life Fern looked the same. 

Invite a Character to Lunch?

So, have you read stories where you think you might like to meet the characters on the street or maybe invite them home for lunch to find out pieces of their stories that might not have been in the book?

Chances to Win Summer of Joy

In case you missed out on winning Summer of Joy in my recent giveaways, you've got some more chances this week. You can check out my guest post "Chasing the Writing Dream through Rejection Valley and Beyond" and leave a comment on Charity's Giveaway Lady blog for a chance to win. Deadline the April 9. Then if you're a Book Club Network participant, Revell Books is giving away 5 copies of Summer of Joy. You just have to answer one of my easy questions on the The Book Club Network page. Dealine to enter 03/31. I'll also be a guest post Thursday on Nora's blog Finding Hope through Fiction where I talk all about my small town inspiration for Hollyhill. Last I'm doing a interview about dreaming on Betty Owens' blog Thursday. 

As always, thanks for reading!! 

The Hard Choices of Dementia

When I was a little girl I always wanted to look like my mother. I thought she was the prettiest woman ever. And I wanted to be like her too. Strong. Determined. Smart. Patient. Loving. She was ready to do whatever necessary to take care of her family. She loved us, her three daughters. 

Mom grew up during the Great Depression years. She had three sisters, no brothers. She and her sisters were always close. They loved their mother and father. My grandfather was a blacksmith and served in World War I as a cook. He died when I was five. I only have a couple of memories of him. I'm not one of those people who can remember when I was two. I do well to remember when I was twenty. LOL. But Mom always had a great memory of how things were when she was a little girl. Those memories were the inspiration for my first Rosey Corner book, Angel Sister. While the story is completely fiction, I owe the inspiration for the background and the characters to Mom's stories of her childhood years. 

Mom's only a few weeks from being ninety-four. She always said she wanted to live to be a hundred. But she never planned to lose her memory to dementia. We never thought she would lose her memory to anything. We thought we'd have our mom with us as our mom until she moved up to heaven. It hasn't happened that way. When she reached her late eighties signs began to show up that all was not right. She began to think things had happened that had not happened. Always things that made her unhappy. Still, she managed for a few more years with us dropping by to help with the little things. Then she fell and although nothing was broken, it was a traumatic experience because she was unable to get up and lay there for we don't know how long before my sister stopped by. 

We didn't think she would pull through that. She got better, but her mind continually got worse. We started staying with her around the clock after that fall although at first we could make quick trips to the store or wherever. Then her mind got even worse. We couldn't leave her alone. She started wanting to "go home." Home was not this house where she'd lived for over twenty-five years. Home was most often her childhood home. Her parents hadn't told her she could stay so long and they were going to be upset. At times she also thought about her home with my father who has been gone for almost thirty years. She had to fix supper for him and the "children." Nobody was watching the "children." She had things to do and she really needed to go home. And because she has always been a determined "I can do it" type person, she would get up and try to go out the door. If nobody would take her home, she'd just walk. After all, the "home" she was seeking was just over the hill. 

And so, the lies began. At first it was difficult for me and my sister to lie to our mother, but it is cruel to tell a dementia sufferer that their loved ones are dead. It doesn't stay in their brain and is a fresh pain every time. Besides, Mom would sometimes look at you as though you were the one without good sense since she'd just seen her mother or father or husband that very morning. So a lot of time her mother and father were "out of town" perhaps visiting "out of state relatives." Nevermind, that they had no out of state relatives. Dad was doing various farm jobs. Perhaps in the hay in the summer or stripping tobacco in the winter or feeding the cows. Whatever came to mind. And "tomorrow" became the promise that never happened. Tomorrow we'd see about going home. Tomorrow we'd talk about it. Tomorrow we'd do whatever we had to do. And that is what happened. We did whatever we had to do.

And now tomorrow we're going to do what we have to do again. We're moving Mom into an Alzheimers' Home. It's a beautiful place with a caring staff. It's our way of trying to give her some more time out of the nursing home since her funds are getting low and we may need to sell the house to keep financing her care. We are naturally concerned. So much can happen. We want Mom to be happy. She's not happy here most of the time. She may not be happy there. She may not be happy anywhere until she moves on "home" to be with her mother and father and sisters. It's a difficult choice. It may not work for her. Then I don't know what we'll do. 

If there's ever a time when a person has to take it one day at a time, then dealing with dementia is that time. Sometimes it's one hour at a time. I know many of you are dealing with the same illness, and it is an illness, a cancer of sorts of the mind. So may we all take it one prayer at a time.