2012 - Challenges and Goals

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For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice. - T.S. Eliot

2012! That sounds so far into the future. Of course it isn't. It's actually the here and now. The first day of a new year. Each day will be a new page to write our own stories on. Some days will be sunshiny and bright. Some will be dull and gray. Some very busy. Some maybe relaxed and lazy. We may have some sad days, hard days, but then again, we will surely have good days, satisfied with our lives days. 366 days this year since it's a leap year. I've still never figured out quite how we can have a fourth of a day extra every year and keep those fourths all in reserve for that day in leap year's February. I know, I must be calendar challenged.

Since we're talking about challenges - we are, aren't we? - what challenges are you going to welcome in 2012. We need challenges to keep life interesting. Challenges and goals. I have some challenges lurking out there in the days ahead. Some of them I can see poking out from behind the shadow of the future. A couple of books to write with the words coming hard and not enough free writing hours in the day. Taking care of my mother while she slowly sinks deeper into the confusion of dementia. Finding the time for reading and renewal and rest. Other challenges that await me in 2012 are hidden deep in the unknown that will slowly be revealed day by day. It's up to me to prepare myself and be ready for whatever 2012 might hold for me. 

I know some good things speeding my way. Words Spoken True will release in a few weeks. I'm excited about a new book out there for readers. And this book is different - very romantic. Unlike the Shaker books that can't have much romance due to that pesky rule those Shakers had about men and women being forever separated. That makes romantic scenes difficult to come by, but I did find ways around that in the Shaker book, The Gifted, scheduled to come out next summer. But with Words Spoken True, I didn't have to tiptoe around the romance. I let it run a happy course right through the heart of the story. 

I don't normally make resolutions. I do often examine my goals. What do I hope to accomplish with my writing? How can I become a better person? What steps do I need to take to move toward my goals? So no real resolutions to be quickly abandoned. Although I could eat better, lose a little weight, be more generous, get rid of clutter. See - when I start resolving I don't know when to stop and soon I'm overwhelmed and surrender to the hopelessness of it without much of a fight. Have you ever made resolutions that you kept? What sort were they? Resolutions to live healthier? Be kinder? Become more spiritual?  
 
The quote above spoke to me. I do need to leave last year's words behind and find the new words, the new voice for a new story. Not always so easy to do, but I've done it before. I hope to do it again. 

Whatever we resolve or don't resolve, I hope 2012 is a year of good things and many blessings for all of you and me too. 

For those of you wonderful readers who entered my Christmas giveaway, I drew for the winners and have already sent these lucky winners e-mails. The winner of the music box and one of my books is Jeanne. Christine from FL can no longer say she's never won. She won a copy of one of my books and the Christmas book, Startling Joy. The other two winners, Christine of IA and Gina J. won copies of The Dog Next Door and their choice of one of my books. Then because I so enjoyed all your stories, I picked an extra winner out of those who shared their favorite Christmas memories. Angie C. will have her choice of one of my books. I wish I could send you all a book, but if I did that, I'd run out of time to write for sure. But I do appreciate those of you who entered. I'll be doing another giveaway soon to celebrate the release of Words Spoken True. 


Meanwhile, Happy New Year! May 2012 have nothing but good things hiding in the dimness of the future ready to pop out at you. Thank you so much for reading and for commenting at times. I appreciate each and every one of you.

Happiness is...

~~Happy New Year! That's been the greeting of choice for the people I've met the last few days. Everybody is wishing everybody else a happy year. Then I heard a radio program this afternoon where a man about to be a daddy was saying that the question he would probably ask his daughter the most was "Are you happy?" We want the people around us to be happy. We want our children to grow up happy. We want to be happy. There are even lists that say what we need for happiness.

• Happiness is a warm puppy!


• Happiness is a hot cup of cocoa!


• Happiness is seeing a new book in print!


• Happiness is finding your true love!


• Happiness is curling up in front of a fire with a new book!


• Happiness is a good review or two!


• Happiness is winning the tournament - meeting a deadline - paying all the bills - gifts under the Christmas tree - a baby's laugh - going to the circus - hitting a homerun - blowing out all the candles on a birthday cake.
  

~~I could go on and on and I'm sure you could too. We could make lists of things that make us happy all day, but is that what happiness really is? Is that how we get happiness or do those things simply raise our happiness awareness?

~~When I researched the Shakers for my Shaker books, I came across a Shaker saying about happiness.

Happiness does not so much depend on circumstances as we think. Within our souls the foundations must abide.

~~While not all who went to the Shaker villages were able to find that happiness, many of the Shakers did seek it diligently and along the way they offered good advice on what was needed for happiness. They didn't think it was something we could bring to ourselves by getting more things, living in more comfort, or having an easy life. You know the saying - Money can't buy happiness. (Not a Shaker saying, by the way.) Few of us would argue with that although we might joke that we'd like to go shopping and give it a try. But the Shakers didn't think happiness was something we could get from other people or our individual circumstances. Not unless our own foundations of happiness are strong within us.

~~But how to go about establishing that foundation of happiness? The Shakers thought they could do it by separating themselves from the world and living as brothers and sisters with no familial stress to cause them to sin. Some people think they can do it by accumulating more things. Others think they can by getting rid of all things and living life at its most basic. There are times we look to others for our happiness and times when they look to us for the same. But I think our foundations of happiness has to be something independent of others and things. We have to build it within ourselves as we figure out who we are and what we believe. We certainly need others for happiness and a warm puppy doesn't hurt, but the foundation has to be there within us before we're able to consistently answer yes to that question, "Are you happy?"

~~Along with that warm puppy, a good review of my books always raises my happiness awareness. I was gifted with a few of those this week. You can check them out at http://virginiasmith.org/ (go to her journal and then book reviews) and http://tnchristianreader.blogspot.com/2010/01/shaker-series-by-ann-h-gabhart.html. It's such a boost to know that someone liked your book enough to share that news with others readers.

~~Hope your happiness foundation is solid and strong all through 2010. Happy New Year! Thank you for being a reading friend.

New Year Journal Entries through the Years

Since it's New Year's Eve, I decided to do something a little different for this blog entry. Ever since I first began journaling years ago as a young teen, I've written a review of the year past around January first. Then when I began seriously trying to market my writing a few years later at the age of twenty, I started using the New Year's journal entries to not only count the blessings of my personal year but also to record the ups and downs of my writing life. And it has truly been a rollercoaster ride at times. Deep lows and exhilirating highs. So even though my journal is usually a private conversation with myself, I'm sharing a few paragraphs of the New Year's entries over the years with you, my friends and readers.

• Jan 4, 1978 – It seems appropriate that I waited till now to write in this year of ’78. And now I don’t know how to say it. I’ve waited so long and now I’m without words. It got an offer. Specifically Warner Books likes Kentucke Dream and wants to publish it. She (my agent) says she’s not entirely satisfied with the terms but wants to know how I feel. What am I going to tell her? Of course I’m satisfied. I don’t know anything about advances. To me, it sounds like a fortune, a miracle, an answer to prayer.
• Dec 31, 1978 - In a few minutes it will be 1979. I’ve written on so many New Year’s Eves since I first began journal writing as a young teen. So much has happened since then that sometimes in ways it seems such a long time ago, but in other ways it seems to be only a soft twirl of days. It seems to be a time to mark accomplishments, to count successes and mourn over failures. This has been an exciting year full of newness. Seeing my book (retitled A Forbidden Yearning) on the stands was a definite high.
• Jan 3, 1983 – I didn’t write on New Year’s Eve. Guess that is indicative of my mood. I hate to keep reiterating my failures, and that’s all 1983 held professionally. Rejections and even worse than that – no rejections. Only silence. So I won’t write much about 1982. I’ll let it roll over me and let loose of it as I try not to be mashed by my failures. I’ll try to realize that I’m still alive. I’m still able to work. I still want to write even if the words seem elusive and difficult. So what if my drawer is full of rejection slips. It’s all part of learning and growing and getting better. Pray God I am getting better and 1983 will hold something good in the wings for me, the writer.
• Jan 14, 1985 – A new year. Seems like it always brings new hope. I keep trying anyway. I’m almost finished with Shane. (A Chance Hero) I got a nice letter from my agent. She said my “lack of sales” was no reflection on my writing ability. She wants to see Chance Hero. I worry the whole idea is too unbelievable with the Big Foot as part of the story, but I still like it. I should finish this week if nothing interferes. It’s snowing like the dickens right now.
• Jan 2, 1986 – The new year’s made my brain go soft, but yes, it is 1986. ’85 is gone, a part of the past. I did sell one book which wasn’t as good as I wanted but it was good. I did rewrite one book and struggle through the writing of another. Even if Gillie’s story isn’t as good as I expected or dreamed, I did learn from her.
• Jan 2, 1987 – A new year. Let’s hope it’s not as sad as the last. This time last year we were just realizing Dad was sick, and now he’s gone and has been gone for many months. I can’t review the year. Too many sad memories. Maybe I’ll just stick with work news. I did sell 3 books, a record for me.
• Jan 3, 1989 – Life brings us both joy and sadness. I personally have been gifted with many good things and I am grateful for the love in my life, my family, my talent and the chance to do what I love to do. So many blessings and gifts. Perhaps I shouldn’t forget my spring of hope that sustains me when I’m discouraged. The next book. The next idea. The next editor. I have only to believe, to continue to try, to step forward. And I thank God for my faith. I don’t understand it, but He understands me.
• Jan 3, 1991 – I love it when I can think positive. I want to have a whole year of positive thinking. “You can do it” stuff.
• Jan 17, 1994 – A new year. Guess I didn’t search for a time for writing about my year because it’s been such a sorry one in regard to writing successes. You might even say it was a low point – a valley that I haven’t climbed out of or even begun climbing. I’ve been working at F.B – full time for a while. I will succeed again, but not as long as I’m at F.B. with no time to work here. So I’ll find a way to do without the money.
• Jan 12, 1995 – It’s a funny thing trying to chase after a story idea. So funny and today so futile I thought I’d write about it. It’s as if I’ve blanked out my mind and I’m stumbling around searching for a way out of the blankness, sort of hoping I’ll bang into something that will suggest some possibilities. But right now it’s a white-out blizzard of nothing. How is another way to describe it? It’s like I’m out in a huge field and I can see nothing but flat ground and grass. I’m lost but not really worried. I know that some direction I take will lead me to some trees or perhaps a house or something interesting – maybe even a hole I can fall into. But which direction? Today I might even think I’m blindfolded and someone has spun me around till I can only stagger a few steps timidly just trying to keep my balance. I guess what I need to do is keep walking some way or other and not just keep circling the blank field finding nothing.
• Jan 21, 1998 – I want to do something fresh, something that will inspire me and make me proud to say I’m a writer again. Maybe I’ll be a writer again. Now I’m just going through the motions and doing a poor job of that. I need a new story. I need a story. Period, exclamation point.
• Jan 14, 2003 – It’s hard to believe, isn’t it? Here we are starting the fourth year of the 21st Century. I haven’t worked the way I’d like. I keep dragging my feet. Letting things interfere. Falling to sleep at the wheel (or keyboard). Afraid of failing. I’m still working on Jocie’s story. (The Scent of Lilacs) I like it, but will anyone else? I don’t know. But I am going to push through to the end. If I fail, I fail. But I have failed already if I don’t try.
• Jan 3, 2005 – Of course, the year’s highlight workwise is selling my book. I’m so excited about that I shouldn’t even think a depressing thought. And I finished Jerry’s story (Angels at the Crossroads) in record time. Still in the holding pattern on what next there. I’m trying not to worry about or even spend too much time thinking about that. It’s in the Lord’s hands and something will happen.
• Dec 27, 2005 – Time spins away from us in great circles. One day it’s the first of the month. The next the end. Christmas has come and gone. A new grandbaby girl has come into the world. A beautiful perfect miracle of a child like all the others. Blessed beyond imagination.
• Jan 3, 2008 – Can you believe it’s 2008? So long ago I started writing in a journal. So many private words. Yet it continues to feed my soul. Words on paper. Thoughts and ideas. Gripes and complaints. Praises and joys. Worries and troubles. Happiness and love. So many things to record over the years. I suppose I started my first journal when I was 13 or 14. I’m not 13 or 14 anymore. But I’m still here. Still writing. Still having joy and worries. But pray God, always more joy.
  

I hope you enjoyed reading my selections through the years. If you did, let me know, and maybe I'll pull out some bits and pieces from my journals again some time. Perhaps the progress reports of a book from initial idea to published book. I did that once for one of my young adult books, Discovery at Coyote Point, for a workshop and the participants seemed to enjoy that.

So until next time, Happy New Year and happy reading. I hope your year ahead overflows with blessings and much joy.