My Mother, My Friend

Mom and Dad on a date

         

Mom on her honeymoon

 The first friend any of us have is our mother. And my mother was the best friend I could have ever had. She taught me how to embrace life and that the more love you give away, the more you are blessed with in your heart. She was cute when she was young, beautiful as a young woman and each year that passed brought her even more beauty. Here's a photo tribute to her.

Mom when I was a girl

Mom and some of her grandchildren

Mom and her sisters

Dementia stole her memories but not her spirit. And now as one of our family members said, the big four are together again. She meant Mom and her sisters. They did know how to laugh together and have a good time.  
 

One of my favorite pictures of Mom

Mom and one of her great grandchildren

Mom loved all her grandchildren and then when the great-grandchildren came along, she was ready with smiles and love for them too. 

Mom helping me make her famous crackerjacks

She didn't do a lot of needlework or craft type things, but she did have some specialities, like making delicious crackerjacks and a chocolate pie that was out of this world. She crocheted one afghan and wove one basket just to prove she could. She also once picked wild cherries to make jelly and she brought home huckleberries from Oregon and made wine. She had fun trying new things. 
 

 

 

 

Mom holding her youngest great grandchild

Mom loved babies. Each new addition to the family was treasured. During her last weeks at the memory care facility, her baby doll could always bring a smile as she carefully held and loved it. I'm so blessed that I was once that baby she held and loved.

Mom doing Physical Therapy

My mother passed Saturday morning with a last whisper of breath. I was with her when she went. I didn't see the angels that came to get her, but I know they were there. I will miss her smiles and kisses, but I celebrate her life well lived. My mother, Olga Elizabeth, headed on up to glory after 94 years here with us. I'm glad I was able to share so many of those years with her. I'm thankful she was my mother, my friend.

Mom's last good picture at The Lantern

Thank you for your many prayers and kind thoughts and comments as you read some of my posts about Mom's dementia. So many of you have walked the same hard roads or have lost your beloved mothers to other illnesses. We join hearts to remember all those beautiful mothers and if your mother is still with you, give her a hug for all of us who can no longer hug our moms. 

What Happens Next?

At church this morning, I got a nice compliment from a friend. Well, actually a couple of nice comments. One, she said she'd finished my book, Angel Sister in the wee hours of the morning. True, she does have trouble sleeping sometimes, but at least I didn't put her to sleep. But before she told me that she looked over at me - we're pew sharers - and said "Where did she, that woman live? Their house was gone, wasn't it? And what about Lorena? Where did she live?" At first I didn't know what she was talking about. What woman? Then I realized she meant Fern in my story. But she was asking the questions like Fern and Lorena were neighbors down the road and they had kept on living after she read "The End." And that's a good thing for me.
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Of course the characters were very real to me and I still find myself thinking about their story, replaying it and living it over with them. And I did imagine what happened to them later after the story I wrote down was through. And no, I'm not telling what that was. First, who knows? I might still get the chance to write the "rest of their story." Second, once you as a reader have read the story and taken the characters into your minds and hearts, then you can have the fun of deciding what happens next.
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I visited a book club a year or so ago. The readers were discussing The Believer. It was so interesting to sit there hearing the conversation going on around me about what Ethan and Elizabeth did next. They were delving into motivations, possibilities, and consequences that I hadn't pulled out into the open in my own mind. I could see what they meant, but I hadn't really consciously thought about it in the way they were. Again, that's a good thing for a writer. Especially a writer like me who does a lot of story navigating by instinct.
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People will ask me what's the theme of my story. I rarely know what to say. Maybe a good answer would be life. Of course a need to forgive or get forgiveness often runs through my stories, but that's a major part of living life. Forgiveness, love, dreams, faith, sorrow, hope, joy - all part of life.
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Somebody once told me that I was a storyteller, and I think that is what I am. I'm telling a story and if in that story I can show how faith and hope and forgiveness makes a difference in my characters' lives, then that's a bonus. Some of you may think that's awful. That I should be thinking more about my theme, my message, but I believe that shows up in the life stories. That it will show up in anybody's story - fictional or actual. Our faith journeys are important and what's important to us needs to be important to our characters. I like being able to write about that part of my characters' lives. And I feel blessed when readers tell me that one of my stories has them taking a closer look at their own faith journey. But I don't plan it out. I just write the story and trust the Lord to do the rest.
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So I'm glad my friend wanted to know what was going to happen next to Lorena and Fern. My story ended but life stories don't. Even when someone passes on, so much of that person is left behind with his or her family. Their influence, their love, their story continues on. So Lorena is out there, living the rest of her story in my imagination and maybe in yours. One thing sure, every night before she goes to bed she says, "My name is Lorena Birdsong."
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What do you think? Do the characters you read about live on? Do you give them futures in your imagination?
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Thank you so much for reading. Talk to you again on Wednesday. I'll have drawn for a winner for the gift cards by then. But if you send me an e-mail right away you can still get your name in the hat.